The truth? Stephanie doesn't suck at all, not even a little bit. She's wonderful, and aT the risk of once again seeming like I have a big boner for her, she IS the best friend I've ever had. I value her unassuming way of listening to my fears and pain, my thoughts and ramblings. She has a way of listening that is far beyond just invested interest, she listens to me in a way that makes me feel like she not only understands or cares, but feels. Her ability to put herself in my shoes when I replay an event to her, makes me feel like she was there, guiding me through. I can never ever thank her enough for being such a wonderful influence, or amazing person. More than anything I feel sorry for anyone that has not yet had the honor of meeting dear Steph.
Stiff Recruits Stalkers
So a few weeks ago, I get a text from a number that I am not familiar with saying that Steph got me a super-sweet gift card to Mary Kay. I know what you're thinking, that Steph, she doesn't sound so bad, bear with me I will prove to you that Steph's Suckiness is as predictable as "do you want fries with that?" So I call Steph and thank her, too soon. So this lady proceeds to ask me to be a face model. Me?! A face model! Thoughts of grandeur flood my head, I'm going to be famous. This woman, who doesn't even know me has heard legend of my beauty and has sought me out to model for her clients. Helen of Troy, eat your heart out. So I text Steph, "oh em gee, I'm gonna be a face model!!!"
Steph: "Nope that's just a way for her to make you over and get you to spend a whole bunch of money"
Well thank god she let me down easy.
So now my guard's up, home girl is after a Pink Cadillac, and she's got skills.
Well the next text I get from Miss Mary Kay is a question which seems pretty innocent, "What color hair do you have?" I tell her brown, she tells me that they are having a Charlie's Angels night and that I am invited, so I assume there will be a Red head and a Blondie there when I get there. WRONG, she's a fucking genius, this woman's skills are being put to waste on pyramid scams, she needs to be working as a spy with a specialty in marketing manipulation. This ho asks me to bring a blond and red headed friend. Then there were three. Her skills are immaculate, I would be in awe if I wasn't so determined to thwart this woman. I tell her I don't have any friends, 'cept Steph, and this woman must already know that Steph's ass is broke, because she didn't miss one beat before she was all "seems like this will be a good time for you to make some new friends!"
Damn you Steph, I'm pretty sure I'm being recruited by come sort of cult, and judging by this lady's super skills, she may be more successful than Jesus himself.
Steph: "Nope that's just a way for her to make you over and get you to spend a whole bunch of money"
Well thank god she let me down easy.
So now my guard's up, home girl is after a Pink Cadillac, and she's got skills.
Well the next text I get from Miss Mary Kay is a question which seems pretty innocent, "What color hair do you have?" I tell her brown, she tells me that they are having a Charlie's Angels night and that I am invited, so I assume there will be a Red head and a Blondie there when I get there. WRONG, she's a fucking genius, this woman's skills are being put to waste on pyramid scams, she needs to be working as a spy with a specialty in marketing manipulation. This ho asks me to bring a blond and red headed friend. Then there were three. Her skills are immaculate, I would be in awe if I wasn't so determined to thwart this woman. I tell her I don't have any friends, 'cept Steph, and this woman must already know that Steph's ass is broke, because she didn't miss one beat before she was all "seems like this will be a good time for you to make some new friends!"
Damn you Steph, I'm pretty sure I'm being recruited by come sort of cult, and judging by this lady's super skills, she may be more successful than Jesus himself.
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