Too Late to Still Suck

Atttaaaccckkk of the Stiff... So I'm enjoying a nice, relaxing dinner with my parents at O'Charley's... kind of a tradition that we haven't practiced since my youngest sibling turned thirteen. Having four kids all reaching puberty at once made it impossible financially for my parents to take us out to eat unless the restaurant had a "children 12 and under eat free" policy. And since my parents can no longer convince us to con the waiter into believing that, despite our breasts, mustaches, and children, we are in fact 12; we haven't gone out in a while. This meal was kind of a big deal, and of course my dearest friend has the best radar for ruining touching moments. I'm chatting with my parents about how glad I am to be in their company, when I hear "I love it when you call me Big Poppa, throw your hands in the air..." (the ringtone I hear every time she calls. Ugh!) I answer the phone and Steph's Mexican ass barely takes a breath before she tells me that she has discovered this blog. I try to tell her that it's all a joke, and she counters by explaining that she's realized that they are all real scenarios. Kinda makes it difficult to play the whole joke card. Bitch. So she gets off the phone with a casual "Well I'll let you enjoy your food" Click. How did she find it anyway? Did she just go around googling her own name? My name? Yeah well you know what? You can be as mad as you want because I may blog about you but you have cats. Eff that Stiff, you will not make me sit through a whole meal feeling bad, eff that. Actually weirdest part was that she really wasn't even that upset, she almost seemed just excited that someone was writing about her on the internet. I guess she's a no publicity is bad publicity kinda girl. A Lindsay Lohan.











Note: I have brothers and sisters, not boobs AND a mustache.